Dear DUOX4Larkin Directors and Managers:
I hereby reluctantly submit my resignation from my position as Lead Surrogate at DUOX4Larkin, visit web effective January 28, 2012. As a result, all forms of identification––badges, monogrammed uniforms, and office stationery––will be returned within the next two weeks. Hopefully, the baby-proofing task that I have already performed will be considered sufficient and the new protagonist that will be birthed, whom you have named BOY’D, is exactly what you desire. In my preparatory analysis, I have validated the precedents for this protagonist: Cervantes’s Don Quixote, Chaucer’s Wife of Bath, Gaëtan Dugas as Patient Zero, James Bond, and the ensemble cast of Oliver Stone’s Any Given Sunday.
My time at DUOX4Larkin was a wonderful challenge. At the risk of sounding presumptuous, I would like to recommend Casper Sondar as my successor to finish the final three months of my already brief 9-month intervention. I realize the work environment looks as though I’ve left it in disarray, but I have devised a deliberate system so that everything can continue seamlessly in my absence. It relies on three separate spaces: the incubation space, the Hub, and a site to customize your strife. Actually, I may be back for a day following my departure to see how everything has taken effect. Please let me know if I might be of further assistance.
As a parting gesture, I’ve left everyone a see-through vial with a terrycloth landing pad, a sanitizing pen, an uncommitted ID badge, and a change of clothes––well… an iron-on :) Thank you, and the best of luck.